Apr 22 2009
Chastity and Giving Yourself To Jesus
I once knew a man that was very strong, but not strong in the usual ways as we think of the word. He was strong in the ways of Jesus. He took his knowledge and made peace where there was war. He was so strong that he could go into a neighborhood where the body count was high such as Compton or East Los Angeles and he could make peace. Fr. Stan Bosch is his name. He has been the bringer of peace in the war torn streets of Los Angeles for over two decades now. I had the privilege of working with the Fr. Stan in the streets of Santa Ana. I remember the day I met him. I was joining his ministry for the first time. He was working an neighborhood in the middle of Santa Ana which at the time was well known for its murderous death toll. I went up to shake his hand and he was surrounded by a group of kids of all sizes and ages, all Latino. They were listening to him intently as he spoke in Spanish. He looked quite perturbed and so I asked what he had just said because at the time my Spanish was not so good. A girl named Veronica told me that a one year old was just killed by gun fire by the rival gang so he was telling the Lopers (the neighborhood gang) that killing wsa not the way and a peaceful solution had to be found. All the youth present were all in the gang and they were all fixated and spell bound by the padre as he spoke. Love and peace flowed out of his body as he spoke. The gang members knew that he was speaking from the heart. As I stood there, even though I was surrounded by lions, I was at peace too. There was no fear. I was totally put at ease by this very loving and giving man.
Now days it takes great strength to overcome not just violence in our society but the temptations of flesh that surround us on a daily basis. Fr. Stan has used his strength to conquer violence and Chastity. In an age where pornography is invading our homes and Sexuality is over exposed, Fr. Stan speaks of celebrating chastity. Yes he is a priest and yes he is used to being this way, but he celebrates it in a manner that all us men can relate too. He speaks our language and does it in way that is quite beautiful:
My sexuality, and subsequently my celibate living out of my sexuality, has everything to do with being generative and generous. It means giving life in all sorts of creative, imaginative and “Godly” ways. I am constantly invited to integrate my needs, feelings, and desires as a response to having been loved by Jesus who is love. I have come to see that I belong to another … to Jesus. And I most profoundly desire to become an empty and open space for Him to fill. I experience celibate life as a preference of loves. I prefer to be most intimately touched and filled by the One who created me, and then begin to be a safe, honest and loving space for others, especially poor and abandoned people, who may not have ever experienced this kind of unconditional, intimate, real presence, that is honest, authentic, and respectful.
Many people believe the life of a priest or brother is filled with loneliness and isolation. That hasn’t been my experience. As a jail chaplain, and then a missionary in Mexico, and later with gang kids in Los Angeles, I could never have imagined that life would be so full, joyful, and exciting! In the midst of troublesome situations and difficult people, my life-giving friendships with some important fellow priest and religious, families, and woman have breathed God’s life into me. For me, my time alone with God and my close friends gives me life and energy to live in neglected places with abandoned people.
He writes about his sexuality as being giving. What does a man and a women do but give their bodies to one and another. He talks about giving but other ways of giving, in other words a different way to give your body and mind to someone else. His way is more then sexual, more then physical. (Fr. Stan Bosch, ST, Director of Gang out reach, Los Angeles, Calif)
He talks of other ways of involving your life with someone else. So many people in our lives can only give one way. They are taught by their parents or role models, good or bad ones, how to give the body to another person. We also see this in movies and TV how to give ourselves physically. So we are one dimensional in our giving. I am pretty certain that this type of giving is sometimes the only way we give ourselves. We are not taught to do anything else. This in itself can leave us empty. God wanted marriage to be the total giving of ourselves to another person. I am currently exploring this with another person. We have taken sex out of the equation. We wanted the spiritual side of a relationship. This has broadened our horizon. We are looking into aspects of giving that we did not know existed. This is what Fr. Stan is touching on.
So many times the physical is given in the wrong way. So many times people starve for something other then the physical in a relationship but lack the knowledge to explore this. Fr. Stan celebrates ways of reaching other people. He then uses these ways to bring peace to their lives. This is why he is so strong in areas where there is violence. The people he is trying to bring peace to they are in need of this giving, and of this type of love. They starve for the loving touch and the total love of Jesus and Father Stan offers this type of love to them in his ministry.
His chastity is an example of the Love of Jesus.
Living a life of celibacy whether it is before marriage or because you are priest is a sacrifice. It is a statement of your love. As men and women we so often make our relationships about “sex” and that is not what a relationship is all about. Sex is just a part of a relationship. When you celebrate chastity like Fr. Stan stated, then your Chastity becomes so much more. It becomes a gift to other humans. You are giving more of yourself in your relations with other humans. Vern writes for catholicamericatoday.net, join now.
